He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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