So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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