she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
