My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i dont even know how to be here
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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