We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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