why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
