So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Randomize
