the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
