Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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