You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
