Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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