Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
