dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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