exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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