Whod you bang
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
