she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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