I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
