You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
