Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
