Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
