Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
