So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize