she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
