Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
