You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
