I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
