so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize