i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
