I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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