I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize