u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
