YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
