I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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