She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
