I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the day after is always just damage control
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
