Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize