ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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