she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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