I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
so much tequila, so little girl.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
