I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
