Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
