I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
