honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Randomize
