pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
