How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
