yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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