this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
