It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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