What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
