Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
