The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
