I am in a vortex of obligation.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
