woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Pants are for mortals
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
