i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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