I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My dick has a subreddit
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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