we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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