omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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