Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
