Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
