is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize