Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
