doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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