I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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