I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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