He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
