you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
