return my video game
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize